message to my self

i had been sad the past few days.. a sadness that is contained within. for some reason, it needs to be solved ASAP. i had the urgency to plunged into some kind of solution.. you know , mama needs an operation- a hip replacement surgery. I tried to be positive about it by thinking of many many ways how to raise funds for the operation. My siblings and father are also pulling all resources..

i am sad because i am faced with many unfortunate instances that i can't seemed to handle.. on my own , i tried hard to rationalize everything and refrain from being emotional. i told myself, sulking or crying won't save any of those problems.
i told my self to work hard and be resourceful in any way.. i feel that shame isn't even part of the equation.. hmmm, whatever it is i will use the full potential of my guts and intellect.

at work, i am bombarded everyday with problems not my own... sometimes, i give my own money for workers i barely know. at least a few problems are solved in a day. but when i think about my own problem.. pweeeehhhhhhhh..but come storm and hale, mama will have her health back...

I can do it!!

i will remember this day... i have no right to be lazy and coward... damn me wasting my time!!

last dip for the summer...

needless to say, summer is my 2nd most fave time of the year, next to Christmas. And summer would just be extremely gloomy without me hitting the beach.. and though am not really a sunworshipper, but am really in love with water, lots of 'em. And so , every opportunity to dip is heaven!!

last holy week, i had a this water-dipping marathon that started in the morning and lasted the day after.. hahahaha...i didn't even mind changing clothes!!

the beach, the river, the falls!!! wohooooo...

bye summer!!!! i just love you!

i want to be.. hmmm just a want..

lately, i have been so out of tuned. nahhh, i really really want to break free from all that's binding me. i want to resign from work, i want to be without responsibility. I want to be only accountable to my self and God. I don't want to explain if i made a blunder. if i'd fall on the pit, then that's fine.. who cares?
but reality is not like that. everyday, i need to wake up early even if i want to damn sleep the entire day! if i want to stay up really late, i just can't do it!!!.. this picture is so wrong. i am no longer i control of my own life..
i want to be a vagabond , a drifter, a hobo... huhuhhuu. but am so tied up.
i used to tell people to let go of whats keeping you unhappy, but guess i'm not doing that mantra. i am enduring it and i'm getting tired again and again. i'm no longer free.. huhuhu --''(*.*)''-- makes me wanna cry...
i just felt that the older i get, the less brave i've become... how's that? i've reached an almost peak of my career but i'm not as bold as i was when i was starting.. did i lost my zest? i don't know. Those who knew me 5 years ago would really wonder how'd i change ..i used to be a dare-devil, i can exist in the shadow,i can thrive the limelight too..

my promise to myself is this.. starting May, i will revive my ways to what used to be.. i will be a free wind again...and it's getting me excited..

LIFE RULE

LEARN THE RULES SO YOU KNOW HOW TO BREAK THEM PROPERLY..

it's hot

it's damn hot this time of the year.. i guess the worst summer heat ever..wohuhuhu. right after my bath, i sweat.. when i'm out, i sweat.the only time i don't sweat was when i was soaked on the beach.. duhhh, care for a corny joke?..
it's very important to get hydrated regularly, take a bath at least twice a day. stay out of the sun if you can and most importantly keep your hot head under wraps.. huhuhu...incidence of heatstroke peak by mile at this time, so better be careful. migraines should be dealt with too..it strikes frequently now.
hmmmm, i start to sound like an expert health professional.. hhahahah, well i am a migraine expert.. i had that once in awhile.

this summer, i had my hair cut..it's giving me a little breeze.. goodness!

kevin is off to sulu..

today, my beau is off to Sulu for work. Hmm, am not really agreeable. That kevin guy is stubborn just like me!!! but a man's got to do what he's got to do. So be it! He's just got to be careful and not separate from his crowd. I have vague picture,or maybe an unwarranted perception of that place. Sorry folks, but i think it is not a safe place to stroll.. Damn me! am i wrong? maybe. But who cares?

so he'll be in Sulu-Zambo combo for 20 days or less.. when he comes back,, i'll treat him for a 2 hour thewi massage, double cheesebuger, double large coke and tyt2x hug!!
and all these valid til April 20 only, beyond that.. sorry kevs.. better luck next time.. next offer will be when you go to spratlys..hahahha

in the meantime, ninya, will be spending the holy week with siblings and maybe invite some friends over for the annual Seventh heaven marathon.. Ninya, will be as low key as possible , so that guy over there in Sulu won't have to worry anymore. ok? so i'll be a good girl.. hmmmm..no, i will be a real good girl the entire april.

ingat manong! i'll miss yah!

stress points

my mind is diverse

my heart, frail

my likes change in a heartbeatt

it wobbles like lego pile.

my time could stop

my passion could wane...

like flowers, they wilt in the heat...

well, they wilt too in the cold.

if i will it, then it will be

my life, is mine...

my future, is mine too..

though my fate, unknown..

i owe it to myself...

i had a chance to watch kimora lee simon's show, hehehe, not really a follower and something in there just strike me today..she was preparing a surprise party for her husband and her kids were having tantrums about little knick knacks... guess what she told the kiddos>> honey, you have to understand that it's not always about you or me, ammm no it's also about me " tadddaannnnnnnnnnn... yup i love her! and i love what she just said! A mother or a woman , must never compromise always. A husband, a boyfriend or a child must understand that their wife or mom needs a time and a luxury for herself. No matter how we wanted to give all, but we also want to take something. AND we can thrive on being women when we are pampered and taken cared of..
An occasionally selfish woman is a loving girlfriend, a loving wife and a loving mom. That i can vouch . A total selfless woman is a martyr just waiting to explode. So yah better watch out!

that rain on Valentines

rain comes, when my palm is out
when the first droplet fell on my skin
and it splashed, like broken plates, it scattered
my, my , i got wet. but no chills

i waited for the rain to soak me
but it never did. it stopped with that last drop on my palm
i looked up the black sky
but i only hear thunder

i love food, sooooooo much...

i had this late post..well, i just want to greet my self a happy , happy belated birthday! i had a blast! well, Cebu had a blast! i celebrated my birthday the same day as Sinulog!! ahhhh, must be the reason why i was named Nina.. ahhh, i see. duh!
birthdays are great! you get away with stuff just because it's your natal day! so, maybe. just maybe, i need to invent some schemes every year to make Jan.18, memorable for me.. The only thing unusual i did with my birthday was when i got a priority treatment in DFA when i applied for passport. i asserted to the assessment officer to give me leeway and let me cut on the line as a birthday gift!well, he succumb , and so i had my passport at less than an hour!!! Happy way!
This year, i had simple celebration with my family, my boyfriend and my friends. It was a happy way for me to start the 28th year of my life.

hehehehe. cheers also to bing, ava and loray for the gorgeous friendship ...i love you always..