Thursday, September 27, 2007

--thoughts to get by

When life becomes too difficult, too unbearable.. one should remember that:
  • all people have problems
  • all people get sad and depressed for no apparent reasons
  • all people get sick no matter how careful they are
  • all people have sleepless nights
  • all people feel ugly at some point even beauty queens
  • all people get hurt by other people, specially the one's closest to them
  • all people can't have everything they want
  • all people are openly vulnerable specially when they're in love
  • all people who love gets hurt
  • all people experience loneliness
  • all people wish they could rewind time
  • all people experienced going to sleep hungry
  • all people trust and get betrayed
  • all people have episodes of hopelessness
  • all people gets tired and weak and suicidal
  • all people will die ... no one is too strong, mighty, powerful, beautiful or special to evade death...
despite that, we should took solace that :
  • hours move, days passed, and time heals
  • we have God to surrender our burden to
  • we can change our path, anytime we are ready
  • there will always be people to help us
  • money can be earned
  • beauty is relaive-- ugliness is also relative
  • people who hurt us today will eventually be hurt by other people someday...
  • loving is a wonderful thing
  • death is a part of life... not the opposite of it...

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

curing the blues 2


" Calm Day"


details of this painting


curing the blues...

i had been having much time lately.. that is spare time.. to idle ,to think , to rest, to just sleep but sometimes, times like these are simply depressing and boring the hell out of me... i had wanted these free -idle times but just the same i'm not a master of making most of my free times...
the more i have time, the more i get lost...maybe i just got too used with following schedules and rules.. damn!
anyway, i had the whole weekend, and got to grab my easel and paintbrush... doing something only me could appreaciate... wahhhhhhaaaa... i painted this weekend..



this is called " Forest Fire"

details of this painting



Monday, September 17, 2007

parts and the whole



In life there are things that are meant for us and things that are not. No matter what we do if certain things are not compatible with our destiny, then it will never be successful. Sometimes, we push our luck over situations, or push our selves to people but we just end up stale, we end up frustrated and hurt..
Everything in life is a matter of investment, I believe...
Some investment goes up, others go down while some becomes stagnant. We can choose to risk or play safe. What the end of the line will be, we don't know. But always, we can make ourselves less vulnerable by being prepared of anything... Never go through life without rehearsal..PRACTICE!
When i was younger, I thought that life is better with spontaneity...just go with the flow, never plan!! But the more I see things, the more I realized that iron clothes always looks better than wrinkled ones...Never reversible!!

Life is wonderful when it is not governed by rules...
TRUE. But reality tells us that it isn't so. We are bound by it, we should live with it. My experience tells me that the more we live simply and abide by the rules, the more freedom we have. The law of life is simple if you live and expect simply... But we are primed to live big time, expect high, dream more...Hence, it is complicated because we made it so... I have a simple heart but I have a complicated mind. In effect, I am burdened by the fact that both affects are always in conflict..

It is always easy to breeze through life, tell yourself "I can do anything with my life. This is mine, I own it" but in truth, we only own a part of our existence. For most of us, we don't even own our time. For some, our minds are already sold to other entity. The more we are involved, the more we lose ourselves. How to get involve and still retain our sense of being is a high-point challenge.. When I look at my mom, I don't see her wholly. I see her as my mother, other part of her is my father's wife, other part as a friend of somebody, other fragmented parts of her are scattered across situations... When she is all alone, devoid of all the roles, who is she? I will never know
Life is like this... We are whole yet fragmented. Not bad as long as the parts co-exists with the whole.. Sad thing happens when some parts of our self got lost somewhere along the way..
I read this passage from a book, " I am what I started with. When this is all over , I will be what is left of me.." Exactly!!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

am coming to you.....soon..


huhuhuhu....im so excited ...am moving in a few months..

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

unlikely ingredients

i had always been fascinated with statistics... my mind is primed in such a way that everything happens for a particular correlational reason...inverse or otherwise.. but destiny is something that probably exist but i refused to believe..
in this world, i always thought that people and events have propensity to occur at the same time hence a situation happens...meeting an unknown person in a certain unique event becomes an avenue of you sharing situation with each other, it's either the situation becomes repulsive or attractive to both person.. If it is mentally and emotionally likeable , then relationship may happen if not, people drift as usual...
why we meet this person and not that person? why we allow events to happen with particular people and not with others? why open up our selves to this person and not that one?

- maybe because people have particular -unique purpose and not all people can be contributing factors of your particular purpose. So maybe, people and situation have this natural selection tendency that pulls us to that particular person and events that will help us achieve our own unique purpose (in an unconscious subliminal level)..

i have friends, not so many.. all very different , all very unique in their own ways.. Between me and 1 friend, we are best friends. Between them without me, they can never be friends....
People in a relationship either friends, lovers, family, etc are like ingredients in a dish. The dish chooses compatible ingredients..no matter how delicious tomatoes or potatoes or carrots are but they can never be in a particular dish... Just like people...
If a person has no correlational reason to be with you, then it's unlikely to connect to that person...

>>> so now, back to my theorem. I am pondering upon my self, why i connect to very unlikely people? People who don't seem to help me in my purpose? Hmmm, maybe my purpose is very unique in the first place....
Maybe my relationship with the people i connect with is like the weird dish that only my friend Ava could say delicious.....rice with sardines soak in Milo chocodrink...

Monday, September 3, 2007

Pasko na naman...o kay tulin ng araw....


wow! it's already the 3rd day of September..
Hmmm, Filipinos have this penchant for celebrating Christmas starting on the 1st day of the ber month...I can hear Christmas songs on the radio and TV already... and soon, there will be carolers,,,kid-earners who eventually became feisty carolers knocking on your door 1o times a day for 3 months...hmmm who demands 5-peso for a 10 second rendition of "we wish you a merry Christmas"....
-- but no matter what , Christmas warms our heart and soul, it always reminds us of happy times and stress-less life, childhood times where smiling without reason is normal...
For me it is the most anticipated event of the year...i always look forward to Christmas when i was a kid, waiting for gifts... and now, it's my turn to give gifts..
Christmas air is always different, it has it's distinct smell and taste and feel.
I hope my Christmas as well as my friends' and family's Christmas would be a wonderful one!!