DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorder) Ver. 6

-handbook for mental health professionals that lists different categories of mental disorder and the criteria for diagnosing diseases

Case #1

Template: Ayen (27)

Disease: Transient Global Amnesia
Symptoms: if head could be detached, she’ll be walking without it.

- Symptoms typically last for less than a day and there is often no clear precipitating factor nor any other neurological deficits. The cause of this syndrome is not clear, hypothesis include transient reduced blood flow, possible seizure or an atypical type of migraine. Patients are typically amnestic of events more than a few minutes in the past, though immediate recall is usually preserved. (Wikipedia)

Disease: Memory Distrust Syndrome

- describe a situation where someone is unable to trust their own memory.
Stage: Degenerative (Stage 5)/ incurable
Diagnosis: very high possibility of developing Alzheimer’s Disease
Treatment: buy post it, tag everything; attach all your belongings to your body using spring

Case #2

Template: Delia (28)

Disease: Substance Abuse

Symptoms: pops-up pill everyday..
- Recurrent substance use to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, or home

- pattern of continued pathological use of a medication, non-medically indicated drug or toxin, that results in repeated adverse social consequences related to drug use, such as failure to meet work, family, or school obligations, interpersonal conflicts, or legal problems.

Stage: addict/ incurable
Treatment: kill the “asthma!!!”

Case #3

Template: Elyn(29)

Disease: Severe case of Catalepsy

Symptom: rigidity/fixed posture when photographed

non-manifestation of movement for some psychological reason..

(see above picture)

Treatment: no treatment/ in-born

Case#4

Template: Edna (25)

Disease: Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Symptoms: a result of Post-traumatic stress disorder experienced in the clinic

- Excessive anxiety and worry (apprehensive expectation), occurring more days than not for at least six months, about a number of events or activities of for certain person.

Stage: on remission / recovery stage

Treatment: constant exposure to other harmful elements until immune..

Case# 5

Template: Jacinto aka Jfc (40)

Disease: Severe Autism

Symptoms: has his own world

• stares into open areas, doesn't focus on anything specific.
• does not respond to his/her name.
• cannot explain what he/she wants.
• doesn't point or wave "bye-bye."

Stage: Deteriorating
Treatment: exposure to play school

Case #6

Template: Rhoda (25)

Disease: Anorexia Nervosa

Symptoms: non-eating of lunch everyday

- control body weight by voluntary starvation, purging, vomiting, excessive exercise, or other weight control measures, such as diet pills or diuretic drugs

- lack of desire to eat

Stage: 1^st stage

Diagnosis: if left untreated may become another Kate Moss

Treatment: lechon, fried chicken, cheese burger, 2 cups of rice per meal

Important:
This manual reflected the predominant psychodynamic psychiatry.Symptoms were not specified in detail for specific disorders, but were seen as reflections of broad underlying conflicts or maladaptive reactions to life problems, rooted in a distinction between neurosis and psychosis/hallucinations/delusions appearing disconnected from reality). Sociological and biological knowledge was also incorporated, in a model that did not emphasize a clear boundary between normality and abnormality.

>>these are the few of my favorite things

kalammmmiiii sa menudo...




palitaw






fresh lumpia



crispy pata



sisig




-manggang hilaw with halang na hipon

suicidal friends

believe it or not.. someoneone once threatened to die for her mouse...let's just call the 2 arrogant, tyrant, horrible mice Ping and Pong (if you're Korean, you could guess right that the original name was actually Bing-Bong) but naming them actually might resurrect the old pains of my dear friend, so itago na lang nato sa pangalan nga Ping-Pong..

this is not my typical animal story.. this is serious and delicate..

well, 6 years ago in the crazy confines of UP, we have this horrible project of actually morphing animals to humans by basically making them behave like humans... imagine the horrible lessons this little beast must undergo everyday just to please his master.. if the boss tells Pong "sit!"- then Pong sits. Torturer!!! whoever sees a mouse squat on his tailss.. animal rights!! if the boss tells Pong "stand in one foot" then Pong stands on his sole heel. if the boss says "repeat after me, re--fri--dye-- ray--tor" -- then Pong says re-fri-dye-ray-tor.... Pong was so obedient that the master decided to put him on a maze..at first the mouse was so great that he could get out in a beat.. but later, it got so tired and dizzy that it got sick... poor Pong!!

just because mice are nocturnal and the boss is not... Pong plays at night with Ping while he trains in the morning with the boss... 1 day before the Morphing Exhibition while all other animals are conversing with their trainors...Pong died....

the master was so devastated that she threatens to die with Pong....

whatever happens to Ping? never heard since Pong's death...

whatever happens to the Boss? well, well she eventually recovered and shifted on breeding dogs instead...so, if you see someone posted her dog's face instead of her face on friendster ... then it's her... !!!

-- another unbelievable friend threatened to kill herself because of Math! hmm, i think i could understand her. Math is inevitable, hideous, whoever invented it must be suffering in hell for the nightly curses he received from the math-phobics' prayers. Well, my friend somewhat flanked in a certain quiz and she took it to heart ... when class was over , she was nowhere to be found... instead of sitting in the lobby waiting for her crush to passed by (which was her knock-off time habit), she was alone , silently weeping and sitting in the 4th floor corridor waiting for the right timing and background music to jump! hahahaha... crazy stuff!

hahaha, all people go thru this stage...even GMA might have written a suicide note once in her life.. it's perfectly human to be sad and depressed over trivial things... these friends are just doing it the OA-way....

Praise yah friends!! may unta mang-daghan mo!!

You quack...I quack...we all quack, quack

Recently I had an obsession of shutting up. Literally, I stopped talking as much as possible, for the simple reason that I don’t like my voice these days.. It’s squeaky, high-pitched, with exaggerated tone like I’m always excited.. It’s annoying and I don’t like to hear it. I feel like I’m nagging at my self. One time I was quite fed up with it that I wanted to confirm if it’s just psychological or for real, so I recorded my voice while reading my Japanese reading materials…. Confirmed! It’s even more disgusting when I recorded it… My “e” sound is super OA it sounded more like “eh” , “i” sounded like “eeeiii” , “o” sounded like “oh”, “z” sounded like a bee racing “zzzzzzz”.. Ahhh! I wanted a blues-jazzy husky voice... Just like Norah Jones..
There, there.. I am addicted to Norah Jones sounds and music , so I was basically listening to her every single minute of the day and even wished I was her. Crazy! She’s all I wanted to be. But they’re launching her as an actress on a Wong Kar Wai film (My Blueberry Nights) opposite Jude Law, Natalie Portman, Rachel Weisz,, great cast really but I don’t know about the story and her acting… I am quite sad about it. Man! She’s a singer.. I always had this perception that once an artist crosses-over to another field eventually she/he losses value, substance that could turn him/her into somebody mediocre. It is my personal belief that one person could only present him/her self in one trademark to stay real and respectable. I had always revered MJordan as a basketball player.. great athlete… but bang!!…he became a star in Space Jam opposite Bug’s Bunny and my adoration for him just went….wossssssssshhhh…. down>down>down.. And after that MJ will never the same way again..
Norah Jones is not a pop star… I love her because she is like a private property that not every body claims to own.. She is like all other unnamed wonders that is hidden amongst the great (mediocrity) ahhh majority. She is no Britney Spears who is baring her soul to get recognized. Her music doesn’t sound like money…

I am always unconventional that’s why maybe I had never been part of a group/ community and the likes.. I love those who are unconventional also to the truest meaning of the word. Of course, I always hear everybody claims to be unique but guess what? They are groupy, faddist, follower…duh! Okay, okay, the world is like a pressure cooker cooking you up thru your soul leaving you only with body and a pre-programmed mind. Just when we thought that cloning has not been made in humans, think again! Look around and you’ll realize that we are like clones of each other.. Jollibee is a clone of McDo, Greenwich to Pizza Hut, clothing lines are cloning each other, singers are cloning each other, dancers are cloning each other, JLo is cloned by many many artist, which she herself was once a Janet Jackson clone.. Nichole Ritchie, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan are cloning each other…the net effect many young girls are like clones of those women! Damn! I could go on forever with this cloning thing…
What I am trying to say is that Norah Jones is unique. She should be emulated for her uniqueness. It is only when a specie is significantly needed can it survive. Evolution theory states that anything that is not highly regarded in the genetic pool becomes extinct and be eliminated.. Species died as individuals died or if they did not perish, they will be altered beyond recognition and recall.
Norah Jones go back to your piano, you are unique in that dimension…..
As for me shutting up, well, I wished to be virtually mute by December, so I need constant practice..

Reunion with Pork (a carnivore's tale)

I was five when I had my first love-hate relationship with pork. I had a pet-pig we call Poohy..Poohy was such a cute pig that spared me from “imaginary-friend” stage.. You see, while most kids my age talk to their imaginary friends on the walls or play hide and seek with them, I was feeding Poohy snowbear and white rabbit. candies. We always ate the same thing, bathed together which eventually turned me to a Poohy look-alike.. I was a pig-child before.. Embarrassing… Later when Poohy was good enough to be a potential lechon or pata , my mom sold him mercilessly, living me in terror of never eating pork again as I might eat my Poohy…I had trauma. So I vowed never to eat pork ever..
But who could resist a sizzling barbeque?

When I was eight, my second bad encounter with eating meat happened when I saw the famous Regal shocker show on TV… It was the story about the famous and delicious chorizo which no other seller could compare… People were so addicted to it that they scrambled and fight with each other just to purchase the famous chorizo.. So, one curious chorizo-maker investigated what could be the secret behind that famous chorizo… He was flabbergasted when he saw human meat being grinded and made into chorizo… Que horror… imagined how I was not able to sleep that night owing to the fact that I had just eaten super red and chunky Hotdog… So for the second time, I vowed never to eat meat again…
But who eats talong or okra when they are eight?

I was in my 2nd year or 3rd year in college when I attended a Krishna seminar/worship, whatever. I never knew til now why I was there in the first place but anyway , it talked about lifestyle, body and religion. Quite interesting really, except for their “fantasy deities” which I could never really revere. Then came these portion where they talked about the advantage of vegetariasm , also called as “grass eating” (sorry vegans)…The speaker was so convincing when he talked about eating meat is like storing rotten, spoilt flesh on your stomach , making it like morgue full of poisonous vile…. Arrghhhh.. I almost puke… Who could ever swallow meat after hearing that?
So for the third time , I vowed never to eat meat again…
I got so hungry during New Year’s Eve , all the circlely-fruits are barely eatable, so I sneaked around 1 am and finally eat morsels of delicious Hamonada, it was heaven!!... And the vow was again broken…

Just last year, I dated a man who had a strange eating preference.. He don’t eat anything that is a product of breast-sucking four-legged animal. OHHH!! Can you handle that? He is the pioneer, maybe founder of the Mafism society. They advocated the non-eating of the above-mentioned category of animals for the simple fact that they believe that like human beings, these animals has the capacity of what we call “Emotions”…Touché! So I ask him if chicken and fish don’t have feelings since they only have 2 legs and they don’t suck their mom’s breast…(hahaha… moronic me, in action), he looked at me for 1 minute , very puzzled…”Is this girl for real?!#@”... hahaha,, he answered eventually that those animals are from eggs, they don’t bear attachment to their makers so I concluded that Nemo must be an exception, and did not ask further. I was infatuated, his explanation seems, okay?? So dating him means eating fish slices choked in rice…also know as sushi which I could hardly swallow.. a marathon of all kinds of chicken menu, which explains why I could already smell chicken dung in my breathe.. And setting foot in McDonald’s store is a no-no..even French fries? Well yeah, Jollibee fries is fine but not McDonalds,, why?they’re all potatoes.. Hmm, yeah but McDo fries were soaked in beef tallow so in essence there is beef element in there… Hayyyyyyy….
So with his influence, I once again vowed not to eat “emotional” meat…
But where is he? He is gone..maybe consoling his cow?

2 months ago, I could have not forced my self to eat beef steak or humba without having to think of the poor animal crying in the slaughter house… huhuhu.. OA.. But you know women change their mind.. and I am a woman and I love Pizza Meat Lovers and tocino, so spare me, am feeding my cravings.. I’ll go meat-free some other time… Hail ye all carnivores!!

The Tale of the Postiso

"hala! hi-tech lagi na iyang ngipon Ma! mo up and down..."

Damn! I suddenly realized that my penchant for making fun of people started way back... long time ago... "God! i should be punished! but please include those who laughed together with me!!" Way back in high school, i was already a mockerer of human race... once i had a teacher ( i dare not name... too sacred) who despite being rich is having a bad-postiso day always... why bad? because as far as i know postiso is supposed to fit in the gum without loosening, so you have the "real-teeth" experience; but her's is noticeably loose that it goes up and down everytime she speaks... blame it on me if you will, but who could concentrate listening to a lecture when you always have this compulsion to catch the postiso in case it falls... Come on!! BLAME me!! Who cares about the Napoleon Bonaparte, when i only want that damn postiso saved from total destruction once it falls!!!

the whole situation is very much like sitting in front of another lecturer who gives you saliva shower everytime he opens his mouth! How could he pretend everything is okay? Gosh! it was total torture! Come on! are we spit-containers?

Anyway , back to the postiso, Well, me, Lory and Mary..are trying to be good.. really. So we read novels during her class (Judith McNaught), to avoid the inevitable postiso episode.. But Mary got caught... As like all compulsions, needs action manifestation or else we'll get psychotic if unexpressed... so we started the "Tally the Ups-and- Downs" stuff. It was so scientific that we have a tally-sheet and we systemaically synchronized our times so we started and end at the same phase...Man, hard-sweat!! totally hilarious , i could remember Lory's serious face doing it...if got caught, our teacher could throw us out of the window...

Over-all, it saved us from total boredom which could have killed us in that very unholy hours...

Looking back, that Postiso episode had helped me alot in my life... It taught me

• how to stiffle "dangerous" fun and resort to something safe but with the same net effect
• that making -fun is not bad unless you get caught
• that i was a good actress...i could feign pretty well
• that teeth should be taken cared of...really well.. brush even those you don't need... like those "suhi" teeth
• if the postiso fits, wear it baby...if it feels good put it on.. but if it's not right then just maybe, it's better if you leave it alone soaked in the baso
• all people can be a laughing stock...no matter who u are...
• for secret reason, I took Psychology because of that postiso...

-to the teacher, i onced laughed...Don't worry mam, I will have my time!!

The Mighty Budo Rangers

if the 70's is the era of Voltes 5, guess what is the 90's? POWER RANGERS!!

i was in 2nd year high school back in '94 when Power Rangers was crazily popular, people anywhere in the corridor chanted "Go..go Power Rangers" like crazy... and as part of that idiotic cohort of Power Rangers manic, we had made a group also called the BUDO RANGERS... consisting of the most flipacks classmates....

We have our own Budo names, i am called Nyahyah; others are called Scartoot, Balacksoot, Stumburdy, Skapalabing....and other's, i have forgotten... we also have our own sacred chants and jingles that sound like an Evil cult's chant... " skapalabing.. tot.. agundoy... skapalabing, palabi... pa ismauki, balantotou, balantou... bidibidi...."

>> fast forward 13 years after... we have not seen our Budo mates, the least contact is through Friendster, seeing the Flipacks mutate into human creatures after more than a decade of trying hard is so great! Who could imagine that those group of moronic girls are actually earthlings!! Seeing them in their new skins is just mind-blowing... A certain Scartoot a.k.a. Jane Jomaya is heading a call on the medicinal world (who knows? she's into concocting bayawak's tail, utot2x juice and olive oil for AIDS cure)... she's one step more before we call her a Registered Nurse..... But how could she? she is a total epitome of " blood-yucker" back then... My, my you are a traitor to your old self buddy....but that's your life, go ahead...

another flipacks who is actually still struggling to be part of the human race is Skapalabing a.k.a. Cecille Gonzales...the most beautiful creature i have encountered so far. The last time i checked her Friendster account, she posted the most glamorous picture ever, confirming her on-going mutation...

another dear Friend, who i have accidentally forgotten due to her betrayal to our mother land and opting to stay in a much cooler side of the earth is Stumburdy a.k.a.Mey..for some reason, she always remind me of EwOks... all 90's kids wanted to be an Ewoks, an icon of the generation, just like Mey.. anyway, i accidentally meet her in Friendster too... I was in awe at her total mutation!! Wow! despite the humungous serving of Canadian burger and fresh Canadianmilk...Mey is still Mey... slim and strong... hahaha... Whilst most of us in this depraved part of the world are getting fat for whatever reasons,,,she still maintains her to-die-for figure...waiflike-ala-Nichole Ritchie figure....duh!! Villacampa...WE HATE YOU!!!

Well, well as for a certain Nyahyah, she had the most successful mutation ever (don't roll your eyes, i am the writer), she had evolved perfectly as predicted and assimilated in the human dimension successfully...but somehow she misses her moronic self and regress 2 years ago... and the rest is history...

Bottomline, I missed you guys,, i wish i am a Billionaire and i can buy you so you could forever make me laugh... where's Bin Laden? I will marry him!!

uwan init, pista langit....

- i was having a hard time getting a ride home last night kuyog sa akong mga call-center friends ...human sa grabeng kaigting sa init, ni-uwan ug labihang kakusog.. mura mi'g mga piso nga naghuwat ug jeep..nagkurog sa kabugnaw og kagutom...may na lang among nasakyan nga jeep kay na'ay sounds.. for awhile na lingaw sad mi kay ang music murag kami ang gipadungog-dungog...

Englisera ( aggressive audio)

-aduna koy nabantayan
nausab na ang akong sinulti-an
may sagul ng iningles like whatever and well

sukad na nakaila tika
gi-ingnan ko sa imong friends
nga you find kuno baduy ang bisayang pinulungan
manimbawk imung balhibo kung makadungog na'g
pulong sama sa gugma....

still i say i love is it o.k. with you
bahala nag makahilak ang lolo kung magbabalak
i tell him will my lolo im a love man
like im not too old to learn an english word or two

nag kuyog ta sa sinehan
gikataw-an mo ang trailer ni piolo og juddy ann
way laing naingon kundi whatever and well

-- hahaha, bisan unsa-on ang mga bisaya ... pastilan jud ko bugoy....
let's keep bisrock alive!!!
heeyyya! for my first ever post!!!